Tobias had attempted an entrance he hoped would enchant his daughter.

I’m grateful for the concern. But I can’t live like this anymore. It needs to stop.

Ellen tells Kristen there’s a sloth nearby. x

KRISTEN: So the day of my birthday we’re sitting in the living room and we hear a knock at the door, and he [Dax] says, “Your present’s here, why don’t you go grab the dogs and go in the back room.” And I had no context for knowing what it was. But I grab the dogs, walk into the back room of the house, and I was immediately overcome and I thought there’s a sloth here. There’s a sloth here, it’s close, it’s gonna happen! And I didn’t know how to process that because my entire life had been waiting for this moment where I would get to interact - I’m serious! - with a sloth. And I, first thing you should know about me: if I’m not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I’m crying. If it’s too sad, if I’m too excited. Always. […] So I am sitting on my bed knowing that a sloth is here. I start to have a full-fledged panic attack. I don’t know how to compete with all this emotion so I just kind of crawl up on the bed and I’m crying so hard and Dax knocks on the door and he has a video camera like, “SURPRISE! I want you to come out into the — are you alright?!” And sees me basically fetal on the bed.

ELLEN: I think you brought a little footage of that, I cannot wait to see it.

KRISTEN: I did. It’s worth watching ‘cause it’s embarrassing, so we can take a look.

#man i feel old

lady-penny-face: